It's no secret that I think my dog is, like, really awesome.
He's the only dog I know of who can turn on and off lights, and he instantly loves everyone he meets. (Sooo kind of a terrible guard dog, but not the point I'm trying to make here.)
I've tried to keep it a secret from all of you, but it's time the truth came out: he is far from perfect. In fact, as I thought it over, I realized Dega encapsulates every one of the 7 deadly sins. A wild claim to make, I know, but I'll prove it.
Pride
Excessive belief in one's own abilities
Sometimes, being around Dega is like being around a celebrity. I once had to run in the grocery store and decided he'd be ok in the car alone for a minute or two. When I came back out, there were people standing around the car just staring at him. We've taken him on walks and had people stop their cars and yell, "What a beautiful dog!" If we go to a drive through, the people always ooh and ahh over him and completely ignore us. What's worse, is the manager at Arby's once gave him some roast beef, so now he thinks every drive through window is there to serve him.
Yes, Dega is awesome, but all the attention has really gone to his head. Nobody ever really liked the kid in school that walked around like they were the coolest thing ever. (Sorry to shatter your illusions, kids that did that.)
Envy
The desire for others traits, status, abilities, or situation
It doesn't matter what you're doing, Dega wants to be doing it too. You're washing the dishes? Well Dega wants to lick up all the water. You're laying on the left side of the couch? Ooh, this is awkward, but that's exactly where Dega was going to lay. You're eating a tuna sandwich? Dega's never had one, but he definitely wants one now. He is always envious of us because I'm pretty sure he has yet to realize he's not a human.
What's worse is his obsession with sticks. Give him a stick and he will be completely content, which is fine until you try planting a rose bush (which, as a start, is basically a big stick) and he rips it right out of the ground and runs away with it. THREE. DIFFERENT. TIMES.
Gluttony
an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires
The other day, we got Dega a new kind of dog food. We thought he was having an allergic reaction to his old one, so we found a new kind and were slowly mixing it in to his old food. Dega was intrigued and fascinated by the new food. I don't know if it really tasted that much better or if he could honestly even tell a difference, but for some reason he couldn't leave the food alone. He's always left the old food alone and only eaten what we've given him, although he lets us know that he thinks we're starving him to death.
Well, the other night, he got his revenge. When we weren't looking, he snuck away and buried his face in that giant, full bag of dog food. He ate to his heart's content. I imagine at some point he started to feel a little full and thought hmm, this is still great! Then it really started to hit him, but he didn't stop there.
I will spare you the gory details of exactly how much he threw up that night. Let's just say he's gluttonous and leave it at that.
Lust
a craving for the pleasures of the body
People warn you that having a baby will change your life. Your life isn't your own any more, and instead revolves completely around the wants and needs of that child.
Why oh why do we not warn prospective dog owners that when you get a dog, your free time is no longer your own? Your dog may not be able to speak, but they absolutely know when you have the time and ability to be petting them and are failing to do so. Dega doesn't just want you to pet him, he demands it.
Wrath
opting for fury rather than love
Dega isn't much of a barker. If someone comes to the door, he doesn't bark at it, he just sits there all excited and ready to maul them. However, if you make him mad, you will get an earful. Sometimes he'll jump up on the couch and stand right in the way of the TV, and when you finally push him off he'll stand there and bark at you forever. You don't mess with him.
(as a side note, I was going to do something here about how he opts for furry rather than love, but then I realized how serious this is and I stopped messing around.)
Greed
the desire for material wealth or gain
Not only does Dega need every toy on the planet, but he also destroys them in two seconds flat. It didn't matter how expensive the toy or how thick the material, it was gone in a matter of minutes. Then, he'd look at us really sadly, like it was our fault he destroyed it. The nerve.
He used to get squeaky toys until we realized how obnoxious they were, so now he has exactly 2 toys, both of which live their lives under the couches because they roll under there within minutes of retrieving them. If we watch an old video of him playing with toys that have long since passed on, he sits and watches it and cries. It's heartbreaking but seriously... the nerve.
Sloth
the avoidance of physical or spiritual work
Finally, not only does Dega take frequent naps and show troubling signs of laziness, he also gets very upset when we put him in his kennel every Sunday so we can go to church. I think that speaks for itself.
I wish every day that I had the patience the Dega has. I wish I could be even half as loving or selfless as he is, and even he clearly possesses the worst traits each of us can have. If you've been feeling down, go easy on yourself. Even the best among us aren't perfect, but that doesn't mean we aren't completely wonderful and lovable.
