I met Caleb when we were both bussing at Maddox. I had only started working there a few weeks before, and he had just gotten home from his mission. (On my birthday, in fact!) We were working together one night and he was still in his post-mission, be-nice-to-everyone state, and I remember he asked me a lot of questions all night. How many siblings did I have? When was my birthday? What did I do for fun? I kept thinking, "Great, a returned missionary. This guy is just looking for a wife." Then he said something about graduating in 2009, and I said, "Oh, that's when I graduated too!" and his eyes lit up. (You have to understand, that bussing uniform made me look 16. Clearly up until this point he was trying to decide if he could actually date me... turned out, he could. Legally and everything.)
We had a rocky back-and-forth as he adjusted to being fresh off his mission, but from day one we realized we had a ton in common. He walked me out to my car that first day we met, and we even drove the same car! The more I got to know him, the more I realized he was sort of the boy-version of me.
I love looking back on that time we dated, especially getting engaged and looking for houses and planning our wedding. One of my favorite memories was when we went ring shopping. For some reason I thought he would panic and change his mind about marrying me, so even though I was excited I was trying not to get my hopes up too much. We had a chat with the salesman about the ring I wanted designed, and he told us it would be $100 deposit. I remember Caleb was on his phone and ignoring us, and I felt my heart sink. I figured he was on Facebook or something, and I turned to him and said, "Do you want to go home and think about it and we can come back?" And he looked up at me, surprised, and said, "No, I was just moving some money around. Can I pay now?" And I just had to hold back tears of joy because I couldn't believe we were really going to go through with it and get engaged! (Especially with such a pretty ring.) But I look back now and can only remember us as babies who had no clue what we were in for. I look back and think, "Anndee! You didn't even know how awesome he was yet! Thank goodness you were smart enough to marry him!"
I will never forget how quickly I learned that I was definitely the lucky one in this relationship. On maybe the second day of our honeymoon, I woke up in the middle of the night with a horrible migraine. At this point in my life I had only had 2 or 3 other migraines, but you definitely know them when you have them. They are completely crippling. I stumbled into the bathroom, thinking I was going to be sick, and Caleb was instantly at the door asking to come in. I told him I didn't want him to see me throw up (we had just gotten married!) but he insisted that I let him in. Luckily I didn't throw up, but I went out to lay on the couch because for some reason it felt better than the bed. It was a narrow couch with no room for my new husband. And to really make matters worse, we were in the middle of nowhere and I had forgotten to bring any kind of medicine. So, my brand spankin' new husband sat and rubbed my head until I fell asleep, and when I woke up the next morning he was asleep on the uncomfortable floor next to me.
I remember just being completely shocked. I knew I loved this man, but I don't think I realized until then just how much he loved me. Or just how big of a blessing this marriage was really going to be.
Now, after almost 4 years of marriage, I still can't believe how lucky I am to have found him. Don't get me wrong, neither one of us is perfect, and neither is our marriage. But we are absolutely, completely, perfect for each other.
Honestly, marriage is not much like I thought it would be. There's not a lot of date nights, or surprises, or constantly realizing how lucky we are to have found each other. It's a whole lot of day-to-day. It's a whole lot of goodbyes before work, and discussions about what to eat for dinner. It's a lot of planning, and monotony, and a whole lot of things that are never specifically mentioned in the Happily Ever After.
But when I actually stop and think about it, "count my many blessings" like I'm supposed to do, I realize just how incredibly blessed I am. I found a person who truly loves me unconditionally. Not a Prince Charming, not a Knight in Shining Armor, but just a sweet, wonderful person who is willing to wake up early every morning and work all day just to take care of our family. He loves cookies like me, but he doesn't love onions. He likes video games, but doesn't have a competitive bone in his body. I have only ever seen him angry maybe twice in the five years I've known him, and even then it was pretty mild. He loves to cook, and he is ridiculously talented at it, something I am always not-so-secretly jealous of. He is a perfectionist, and takes his time doing things just right. He loves dogs and always pretends he's going to run over cats when they run out in the road. (Don't worry, he could never really go through with it.) He has this can of grape soda that he's had since like the 5th grade and he's convinced someday we're going to pop it open and drink it in celebration, even though it's probably fermented by now and I'm not going near that thing. He is insanely smart, and when he doesn't know something he researches it to death until he knows it forwards and backwards. He is great with computers. And his son is the spitting image of him, and pretty much thinks he hung the stars. I do, too.
A bit ago, I was being my usual, hormonal, girly self and was upset with some friends about what I felt was a gross misjustice directed at us. Caleb listened patiently, pretended to be mad in all the right places, and then dropped the ultimate knowledge bomb. He said, "I think that's kind of how it's supposed to be. We can have friends, but we aren't supposed to be nearly as close with anyone else as we are with our spouse. Even the best of friends are going to let you down, but your spouse is always there for you. We're supposed to go through this kind of thing to remind ourselves to rely on each other, and to solidify that we are best friends."
Ultimately, that is the best part about marriage to me. Just having someone who you know always, always has your back. Who wants to go through all that day to day monotony with you, because it's all those little days and little moments that make a really beautiful life. It's the most cliche and simplest thing I can say about it, but I can say it with confidence: I have found my eternal best friend.
And I still can't get enough.
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