Some BIG changes ahead!

I'm notorious for thinking I have things figured out, that I know exactly where my life is heading, only to find out that I was completely wrong. You'd think it wouldn't take me so long to figure out that the things I have planned for myself are no where near as wonderful as what the Lord has planned for me.
I'm getting better at realizing that.
And this time, I didn't have things figured out. Actually, since almost two years ago, I've been really confused. But to hear that story, you need to first hear this one.
See, I was never sure about college. Actually, scratch that- I was always sure college was a scam. I remember in High School a teacher telling us that college was just a way to keep younger kids out of the work force longer, which makes sense. I was sure I didn't need college, and I didn't want it.
So, after High School, I didn't go. I stayed home, I worked at a good job, I bought a nice car, things were going great. But then, after a year, I lost my job. I had a horrible time trying to find a new one. And I started thinking more about something that had always been in the back of my mind: being a teacher. As much as I may have been "against" college, I knew I could never be a teacher without a degree.
So one of the biggest changes in my life all started taking shape and changed everything in a matter of hours (as these things often do.) I got an apartment, I got loans (STILL a big regret... never, ever let the financial aid office talk you into Parent Plus loans. They tell you it's the only way but I promise it's NOT) and I started school. And I loved it. I breezed right through because, and I don't mean this in a cocky way, school has always been really easy for me. I regretted having wasted a year by not going right after High School, so I kept taking classes right on through summer.
In retrospect, that might not have been such a good idea. By Spring of my Sophomore year, I was completely burned out. Not only that, but I was broke. I was working my butt off and still drowning in school loans. I worked nearly every day at Maddox, and 3 days a week at an Elementary School. Where I'd once loved working there, I was now started to dread it. I began to question if I really wanted to be a teacher after all, and I felt my passion for it quickly fizzling out. I was also driving to Brigham every day for work and not getting home until late at night. My mom had recently had neck surgery, so I took over a few of her cleaning jobs as well. I had just started dating the man I would soon marry (but had no clue yet), and there was so much going on that I was always tired, and something had to give. So, school was put on the backburner.
By the end of the semester, I knew I needed a break. So I didn't sign up for Fall classes. And although I told myself I would go back in the Spring, I think I knew deep down that I wouldn't.
And then, even more things started to happen. I got engaged, and then married. We bought a house. I got a new job. Our lives started to fall into rhythm and I let myself believe I could plan out the future: when we'd have kids, when we'd buy a new house.... until yesterday.
I was sitting at work when one of my coworkers made a comment about her kid and visiting him in his 1st grade classroom. Suddenly, my passion to be a teacher came back and hit me like a ton of bricks. I remembered how when I was working for America Reads at Summit, one of my favorite teachers there let me teach his class a few times. I loved it. I felt like it was exactly what I was born to do. And who wouldn't want to feel that way every day at work?
But even as my excitement was growing, I tried not to let it get out of control. After all, this was not the plan. We were going to pay off all our debt, and then Caleb was going to go back to school. It made sense. It was the PLAN.
But as soon as I told him what I was thinking, he jumped on board. And that's why having an amazing, supportive husband is so great. He didn't tell me reasons we couldn't do it, he just assured me that we would.
So today I met with an Advisor, and if everything goes as planned (and if Math isn't the death of me....seriously, cross your fingers.) I will be wearing that graduation cap two years and a few months from now! (Well, not really, because they only do graduation in May, not December. But... you get the idea.)


2 comments:

  1. How exciting! Have you applied for financial aid? That saved our bacon as poor college students.

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    1. You are great at everything you put your hand to Anndee, so I can't imagine you not succeeding at this. We support you all the way, someone needs to be excited about school.:))

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