Let's do away with weddings once and for all

I stumbled across yet another commercial the other day, showing a bride in her expensive white gown walking down the aisle. There is no one else to be seen, not even her father at her side. The narrator said, simply, "Because this is your day."

I was so irritated, I don't even know what that commercial was advertising.

It's not like this is an uncommon thing. It's not even something we think twice about. A bride on her wedding day... that's a special thing. Anything for the bride. The bride is beautiful and radiant and... wait, can the groom step out of the picture, please? You're blocking part of her extravagant white dress.

How did this happen? When did a wedding become only about the bride?

For that matter, when did a wedding become about more than a marriage?

I can't tell you how many times I've heard the excuse: We're not getting married right now, we can't afford it. We're going to move in together for now and save up for our dream wedding.

It makes me sick inside. So let me say this as clearly as I can: YOUR WEDDING. IS NOT. THE IMPORTANT THING.

The important thing is each other.

If you're engaged or dating or single and looking, take it from someone who's been there: your wedding goes by way too fast. It's true when they say you won't even get a slice of your own cake. And despite all your hard planning, the receiving line of people you've never met and will probably never see again will not disperse in enough time to let you have an hour of dancing with your friends. They don't want to dance, anyway.

I never really thought of myself as that kind of girl, but there was a slight disappointment after the wedding was over. It was like, Huh. My wedding, this day I've been looking forward to my entire life, is over. For the next few weeks after our wedding, I kept having nightmares that we had to set it all back up and do it again because it had gone by so fast.

My wedding was fun. I loved my dress, I loved how Caleb surprised me by singing me our song, I loved our easy luncheon and how we had leftover cookies for like a month. But man, I really hope that wasn't the best day of my life.

On that note, today also marks 5 years since my baptism. Because the majority of my family isn't LDS, I had a lot of people ask me, "Don't you feel bad for your family that they can't go to the sealing?" Call me cruel if you want, but my answer, plain and simple, is no. Not because I'm unkind or don't love my family, but because Caleb was the only person I needed in that room. That moment was about he and I, not anybody else. Afterwards, we did a ring ceremony for my family, and I was the lucky girl that got to have a Temple Sealing and have her father walk her down the aisle. I'm pretty sure that's cheating somehow.

If you're not going into your marriage thinking about the person you're marrying, then you shouldn't be getting married. If your spouse is just a consolation prize after the glitz and glamour of the wedding day is over, then I can almost guarantee yours will be one of those marriages that fails. And if you're moving in together so you can save up for that day, then you're wasting it. The day will go by fast, and you'll go back home to each other as if nothing has changed.
Let it be an adventure. I will be the first to say that being engaged is the WORST. You never want to leave each other, so you end up hanging out every night until 4 am and driving home half-asleep in the freezing cold. But what an awesome gift it is to suddenly be married and realize... we don't have to leave each other again. No matter where the day takes us, we'll both end up back in this house, together. 

Don't get married until you would be thrilled to see him on bended knee with a cubic zirconia Wal Mart special in his hand. Don't get married until you are absolutely willing to marry him in a ceremony where not a single person attends. Don't get married until you want to marry him in your sweats, with no makeup on, on a dirt road in the rain.

I'm not saying you have to do those things. Have your big ring, have your fancy wedding. But not if that's all you want.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Marriage is the best thing you will ever do. Read that carefully. I said marriage, not your wedding. Your wedding is a necessary evil to get to your marriage. If it feels the other way around, then it isn't right.

Now how to get them to stop making these commercials...

(Man am I glad I never had one of these. Super creepy. No batteries needed? That's because this doll is clearly possessed.)