I've been getting in trouble a lot this week for not letting a lot of our friends and family know that after 7 years, Caleb quit Maddox and just started a new job this week! I will forever be grateful for Maddox because that is where we met, but boy am I glad that we are both done with that place. His new job is at a software company called Spillman Technologies. He has really loved it so far and we are both really excited! 
The hours are a big change from the late nights he worked as a server, so we have all been adjusting to him getting up at 6:00. Dayen, who is the lightest sleeper known to man, hears him getting ready in the mornings and usually wakes up. This morning, I had a genius idea: why not bring him into bed with me? Cosleeping is all the rage these days. Our pediatrician begged us not to and I never saw the appeal (my personal bubble grows ten times its normal size while I'm asleep, so adding another person to our bed never sounded fun.) plus Dayen is such a light sleeper that any time we moved he would wake up. He started sleeping in his own crib in his own room pretty early on, and even now when we put him down he usually looks at us like, "great, now get out of here so I can get some sleep".
STILL, my friends rage about it (or are upset that they have to now that their kids are used to it) and in my minds eye I could wake up in a couple hours with this little cutie snoozing next to me. 

So I figured, why not?
The following is an account of my tragic, short experience with Cosleeping.

He picked my nose.
He tried to see if my nose was removable. (Almost, buddy. Almost.)
He scratched my face repeatedly, and when I tried to tell him not to he laughed maniacally. (I've never seen such a diabolical look in a man's eyes.)
He stuck his gross, dirty stuffed elephant on my face while I tried to fall asleep. Although to be fair, that's what I do to him, so I guess the sentiment was sweet.
He took up more than half the bed. How does such a tiny human need that much room?
He tore through my carefully constructed pillow walls then tried rolling his way to freedom.
He laughed loudly every time I closed my eyes to try to sleep. You're so funny, mom. That's not what we're here to do. 
He pulled the blanket over his head and then just sat there, waiting to see how long until I'd save him from asphyxiation.
He poked me in the eye. On purpose. When I opened my eyes he had one little finger out, poised to do it again.
He used me like his human jungle gym. 
He wanted the left side of the bed. Just kidding, the right. Ok definitely the left was better. Nope, right again. This was a good object lesson to me about how the grass is always greener...
He had a nice, loud chat with his binky. And his hand.
And finally, he went back to his own bed, where he quickly fell fast asleep.