I'm notorious for thinking I have things figured out, that I know exactly where my life is heading, only to find out that I was completely wrong. You'd think it wouldn't take me so long to figure out that the things I have planned for myself are no where near as wonderful as what the Lord has planned for me.
I'm getting better at realizing that.
And this time, I didn't have things figured out. Actually, since almost two years ago, I've been really confused. But to hear that story, you need to first hear this one.
See, I was never sure about college. Actually, scratch that- I was always sure college was a scam. I remember in High School a teacher telling us that college was just a way to keep younger kids out of the work force longer, which makes sense. I was sure I didn't need college, and I didn't want it.
So, after High School, I didn't go. I stayed home, I worked at a good job, I bought a nice car, things were going great. But then, after a year, I lost my job. I had a horrible time trying to find a new one. And I started thinking more about something that had always been in the back of my mind: being a teacher. As much as I may have been "against" college, I knew I could never be a teacher without a degree.
So one of the biggest changes in my life all started taking shape and changed everything in a matter of hours (as these things often do.) I got an apartment, I got loans (STILL a big regret... never, ever let the financial aid office talk you into Parent Plus loans. They tell you it's the only way but I promise it's NOT) and I started school. And I loved it. I breezed right through because, and I don't mean this in a cocky way, school has always been really easy for me. I regretted having wasted a year by not going right after High School, so I kept taking classes right on through summer.
In retrospect, that might not have been such a good idea. By Spring of my Sophomore year, I was completely burned out. Not only that, but I was broke. I was working my butt off and still drowning in school loans. I worked nearly every day at Maddox, and 3 days a week at an Elementary School. Where I'd once loved working there, I was now started to dread it. I began to question if I really wanted to be a teacher after all, and I felt my passion for it quickly fizzling out. I was also driving to Brigham every day for work and not getting home until late at night. My mom had recently had neck surgery, so I took over a few of her cleaning jobs as well. I had just started dating the man I would soon marry (but had no clue yet), and there was so much going on that I was always tired, and something had to give. So, school was put on the backburner.
By the end of the semester, I knew I needed a break. So I didn't sign up for Fall classes. And although I told myself I would go back in the Spring, I think I knew deep down that I wouldn't.
And then, even more things started to happen. I got engaged, and then married. We bought a house. I got a new job. Our lives started to fall into rhythm and I let myself believe I could plan out the future: when we'd have kids, when we'd buy a new house.... until yesterday.
I was sitting at work when one of my coworkers made a comment about her kid and visiting him in his 1st grade classroom. Suddenly, my passion to be a teacher came back and hit me like a ton of bricks. I remembered how when I was working for America Reads at Summit, one of my favorite teachers there let me teach his class a few times. I loved it. I felt like it was exactly what I was born to do. And who wouldn't want to feel that way every day at work?
But even as my excitement was growing, I tried not to let it get out of control. After all, this was not the plan. We were going to pay off all our debt, and then Caleb was going to go back to school. It made sense. It was the PLAN.
But as soon as I told him what I was thinking, he jumped on board. And that's why having an amazing, supportive husband is so great. He didn't tell me reasons we couldn't do it, he just assured me that we would.
So today I met with an Advisor, and if everything goes as planned (and if Math isn't the death of me....seriously, cross your fingers.) I will be wearing that graduation cap two years and a few months from now! (Well, not really, because they only do graduation in May, not December. But... you get the idea.)
Finally :)
Finally, the long-awaited project. :)
I decided to do this when we our first offer on the house got accepted...which was in February. So it's pretty much been cooking in my head since then, and I threw it all together tonight. So, don't be surprised if I update it a zillion times.
Without further ado... Our home. :)
I decided to do this when we our first offer on the house got accepted...which was in February. So it's pretty much been cooking in my head since then, and I threw it all together tonight. So, don't be surprised if I update it a zillion times.
Without further ado... Our home. :)
One Half
Caleb and I have officially been married for 6 months today. Now, I know that probably doesn't sound all that impressive to those of you going on twenty five years, or even five years, or even one! But let's face it, this is the longest I've ever been married, and I'm one for celebrating trivial things like this. :)
It's one of those weird times where it feels like it's been waaaaay longer than six months, but at the same time it feels like we just got married last week. I've learned and changed a lot in the last half a year. I think I knew all along that marriage would bring about changes, but it's only through the beauty of hindsight that you can actually see the impact it has.
It's easy for me to look at the difficult things. For example, one of the hardest things for me has been feeling like I've changed so much I don't really know who I am anymore. It's not that I don't like who I've become, it's just that sometimes I feel like I can barely remember the Anndee who existed only a year ago. One of the biggest ways I've always defined myself has been through my writing. I can't count (ok, ok, I could probably count, but it's a really high number, so I won't) the number of unfinished word documents on my laptop that are all beginnings of stories I never finished. Ever since I published my book, I've hardly been writing at all. See, I have a huge problem with taking criticism when it comes to my writing. I don't handle negative criticism well at all, and there was so much of it (even though it should have been buried in the good comments) when my book came out, that I slowly started to doubt myself. I stopped writing for me, and I started thinking, "Well this person said to do this" and "this person wouldn't want me to write about that" and I slowly lost all my confidence, and now I have a really hard time writing, where it used to be the thing that came most naturally to me. Even writing this now, I feel like it's a jumbled mess of words that I'm refusing to let myself re-read because I just won't post it!
Now, what does all this have to do with being married? Well, for one, my priorities have changed. I'd rather sit and talk to Caleb than sit and write. And for another, I have so many more responsibilities now. Who knew that even without kids, my entire day could be taken up by work, cleaning the house, cooking, taking care of the dog, etc. etc. etc. (And just a side note: Caleb cooks like 99.9% of the time, so I really have no right to even list that one. But I am, because I pour my own cereal every. single. day. :) )
It was like I woke up one morning not too long ago and realized I'd fallen so easily into my new routine, that I never had time to miss the things I'd once loved. Suddenly I'm someones wife, and I can't and don't want to put myself first anymore. So I'm somehow trying to find a way back to the things I liked about the old me, while meshing it into my new and MUCH loved life.
It's weird.
It's very different.
But I'm really grateful for that great big change that happened to us six months ago, because this boy is wonderful!
It's one of those weird times where it feels like it's been waaaaay longer than six months, but at the same time it feels like we just got married last week. I've learned and changed a lot in the last half a year. I think I knew all along that marriage would bring about changes, but it's only through the beauty of hindsight that you can actually see the impact it has.
It's easy for me to look at the difficult things. For example, one of the hardest things for me has been feeling like I've changed so much I don't really know who I am anymore. It's not that I don't like who I've become, it's just that sometimes I feel like I can barely remember the Anndee who existed only a year ago. One of the biggest ways I've always defined myself has been through my writing. I can't count (ok, ok, I could probably count, but it's a really high number, so I won't) the number of unfinished word documents on my laptop that are all beginnings of stories I never finished. Ever since I published my book, I've hardly been writing at all. See, I have a huge problem with taking criticism when it comes to my writing. I don't handle negative criticism well at all, and there was so much of it (even though it should have been buried in the good comments) when my book came out, that I slowly started to doubt myself. I stopped writing for me, and I started thinking, "Well this person said to do this" and "this person wouldn't want me to write about that" and I slowly lost all my confidence, and now I have a really hard time writing, where it used to be the thing that came most naturally to me. Even writing this now, I feel like it's a jumbled mess of words that I'm refusing to let myself re-read because I just won't post it!
Now, what does all this have to do with being married? Well, for one, my priorities have changed. I'd rather sit and talk to Caleb than sit and write. And for another, I have so many more responsibilities now. Who knew that even without kids, my entire day could be taken up by work, cleaning the house, cooking, taking care of the dog, etc. etc. etc. (And just a side note: Caleb cooks like 99.9% of the time, so I really have no right to even list that one. But I am, because I pour my own cereal every. single. day. :) )
It was like I woke up one morning not too long ago and realized I'd fallen so easily into my new routine, that I never had time to miss the things I'd once loved. Suddenly I'm someones wife, and I can't and don't want to put myself first anymore. So I'm somehow trying to find a way back to the things I liked about the old me, while meshing it into my new and MUCH loved life.
It's weird.
It's very different.
But I'm really grateful for that great big change that happened to us six months ago, because this boy is wonderful!
So with him by my side, we'll figure out the rest. :)
It's all fun and games until somebody poops on the duvet cover...
Man, I'm bad at this lately.
But since our house is currently 89 degrees (I'm NOT exaggerating...I am literally sitting on an ice pack right now. We also sleep with them.) there is nothing I can do but SIT... which is luckily just perfect for blogging.
Obviously a lot has happened, and although I want to post pictures of our house until the cows come home, I have a little creative surprise coming your way...uh...eventually... so I'll refrain for now. :)
Instead, I'll post my other favorite thing to take pictures of... our new little pride & joy! (I either call him that or butthead, depending on how long it's been since he's pooped on the carpet.)
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And of course, in the end...
He won.
But since our house is currently 89 degrees (I'm NOT exaggerating...I am literally sitting on an ice pack right now. We also sleep with them.) there is nothing I can do but SIT... which is luckily just perfect for blogging.
Obviously a lot has happened, and although I want to post pictures of our house until the cows come home, I have a little creative surprise coming your way...uh...eventually... so I'll refrain for now. :)
Instead, I'll post my other favorite thing to take pictures of... our new little pride & joy! (I either call him that or butthead, depending on how long it's been since he's pooped on the carpet.)
Bringing this scary monster home the first day!
Caleb has always wanted a husky, but we kept telling ourselves we weren't going to get a dog. But, we kept researching different dogs, just, ya know, for "someday". Then when we found huskies for sale in Logan, we decided to just go look. But the minute we pulled up and all these husky puppies swarmed the car, we knew we were doomed.
I still counted on Caleb to be the voice of reason. So after awhile of watching the puppies, I said, "Well, do you want to go home and think about it?" He looked at me surprised and said, "No, I want that one!"
So, we got that one!
The first night was rough. He kept waking us up, and finally at 2:30 we gave in and put him up on the bed with us, hoping that would help him sleep. Keep in mind, we had JUST taken him outside. He wouldn't calm down, and kept trying to jump off the bed, but was too scared. Here's a helpful hint: if your dog wants desperately to get down, help him. Because the next thing we knew, he was pooping right on the bed.
It's funny now. It was even funny the next morning. But right then it was SO. not. funny.
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Since then, he does good, and we just think he's awesome! We're actually afraid we got a dog too much like us... see, we wanted a dog who would just sit by us and watch tv and just be calm.
Well, we got our wish. For a puppy, he can be ridiculously lazy. Case & point...
Taking him on his first walk.
Every thing you read about dog training stresses one main thing: your dog needs lots of exercise. So we decided to take him for a walk. He was NOT having it. This is his, "what on earth did you attach to me??" face.
And of course, in the end...
Side note: he does ok on walks now. But he stills stares back at the house the entire time like, "Can't we just go back there??? I just want to watch TV with you guys!"
And now, back to the 89 degree weather in our house...
we feel really bad, because Caleb & I are miserable, so we can only imagine how Dega feels. So today, we decided it would be fun to take him swimming and see how he did in the water!
This basically sums up what he thought of that.
We forced him in a couple times, and he was a natural swimmer!
But after awhile he got REALLY fed up with that nonsense
Doesn't he look like a hyena? HA!
So instead, he got really adventurous (not to mention dirty) playing in the weeds.
I am happy to say that for the first time, I feel completely content with my life, like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. We've been so blessed and taken care of, and I couldn't be happier!
We're baaaack....
After nearly 5 long, internet-less months, we are finally back! We literally got internet about thirty minutes ago. And here I am. See how much I missed you?
Obviously a lot has happened! So let's start from where we left off...
After we got married, we moved to the Brigham City Airport, where Caleb's grandpa owned an airplane hangar with a nice little apartment up top. We were still desperately looking for a house, so he told us we could stay there for two months until we found something. (Because, technically, no one is supposed to live there. But what can I say, my middle name is Danger.) It ended up being four and a half months, so boy were we glad when he didn't kick us out!
The hangar was really nice. We had a jetted tub, a garage (where I got to park under the wing of a plane. How many people can say that?) and even the windowsills had granite in them. It was all brand spankin new and really nice. But I can't even describe how eager we were to finally get into our own house.
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We put in our offer on February 27th, and we didn't close until May 9th. That is a LONG TIME. But we're finally here! We were so excited that it took less than 24 hours to be (pretty much) completely unpacked.
Last night, with the help of my drop-everything-to-help-us wonderful in-laws, we planted a vegetable garden! I never thought I cared about gardening, but I'm so excited! The rest of the yard is still, um, under construction, so I'll post pictures later. :)
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One final thing... It's wedding season, so a lot of my good friends are getting married, and everyone keeps asking me for advice, for what I wish I'd known before I got married. We've all heard all the same answers before, so here's my own little two cents, for those of you who were wondering...
#1: Everyone says the first year is the hardest. We are almost halfway through the first year and.... I don't know that that's true. Maybe we're weird. But we never fight or even argue, and I could spend every minute of every day with him and never get tired of him. But I think the main reason for that is Caleb's personality...he's slow to anger, very patient, and always puts me first. He's taught me a lot. So even if you marry someone who is the opposite of that (which I don't recommend) I guess my advice is to be like Caleb, and your marriage will be a heck of a lot easier!
#2: Do things together. It's been such a bonding experience for us to buy our home. It's a mutual thing that we were both so excited about and love. We did all the unpacking and decorating and organizing together, and at night we just sit here and talk about how great we think our house is. And when it comes to this kind of stuff, do all of it together. I've learned so much about houses that I never knew, and I want to be able to do it all myself too. (But, I'm thinking I'll do a post on that later, so hang in there.)
#3: Ok, this one is a cliche we all hear, but it's serious... don't let the small things bug you. You do things that bug him too, trust me. Ask yourself if it's really something that matters. I'm not very good at this one, but once again, Caleb excels enough for the both of us. Basically, you all should have married Caleb, but it's too late, so neener-neener.
That's all I've got for now! There will definitely be more pictures to come!
Obviously a lot has happened! So let's start from where we left off...
After we got married, we moved to the Brigham City Airport, where Caleb's grandpa owned an airplane hangar with a nice little apartment up top. We were still desperately looking for a house, so he told us we could stay there for two months until we found something. (Because, technically, no one is supposed to live there. But what can I say, my middle name is Danger.) It ended up being four and a half months, so boy were we glad when he didn't kick us out!
Our "basement."
The hangar was really nice. We had a jetted tub, a garage (where I got to park under the wing of a plane. How many people can say that?) and even the windowsills had granite in them. It was all brand spankin new and really nice. But I can't even describe how eager we were to finally get into our own house.
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Last night, with the help of my drop-everything-to-help-us wonderful in-laws, we planted a vegetable garden! I never thought I cared about gardening, but I'm so excited! The rest of the yard is still, um, under construction, so I'll post pictures later. :)
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New roof...whoo!
(And we got rid of those horrible blinds right away. Those were an insult to blinds everywhere.)
#1: Everyone says the first year is the hardest. We are almost halfway through the first year and.... I don't know that that's true. Maybe we're weird. But we never fight or even argue, and I could spend every minute of every day with him and never get tired of him. But I think the main reason for that is Caleb's personality...he's slow to anger, very patient, and always puts me first. He's taught me a lot. So even if you marry someone who is the opposite of that (which I don't recommend) I guess my advice is to be like Caleb, and your marriage will be a heck of a lot easier!
#2: Do things together. It's been such a bonding experience for us to buy our home. It's a mutual thing that we were both so excited about and love. We did all the unpacking and decorating and organizing together, and at night we just sit here and talk about how great we think our house is. And when it comes to this kind of stuff, do all of it together. I've learned so much about houses that I never knew, and I want to be able to do it all myself too. (But, I'm thinking I'll do a post on that later, so hang in there.)
#3: Ok, this one is a cliche we all hear, but it's serious... don't let the small things bug you. You do things that bug him too, trust me. Ask yourself if it's really something that matters. I'm not very good at this one, but once again, Caleb excels enough for the both of us. Basically, you all should have married Caleb, but it's too late, so neener-neener.
That's all I've got for now! There will definitely be more pictures to come!
The Wedding!
I'm only about two months late on this one, but I figured better late than never, right?
Unfortunately, I was not content to just post the pictures on Facebook, so you get them here too. With commentary. Fun, I know! ;)
Can we also just take a moment here to admire my hair?
The photobooth was another hit. I wasn't sure about it, but I'm so glad we got it! Everyone had so much fun, and it was well worth the price! (We got it instead of a cake, and I don't think anyone even noticed we didn't have a cake!)
And, it made for a nice guest book!
Luckily we had these cute girls from my old Primary class helping us out all night! They were awesome!
Unfortunately, I was not content to just post the pictures on Facebook, so you get them here too. With commentary. Fun, I know! ;)
So, obviously, it was a great day. It was so cool walking out and seeing all those people waiting for us! And look at that grin on Caleb's face...I'd say he's pretty happy too. :)
When we first got outside, everyone was saying how freezing it was, and I kept saying, "I don't feel cold at all! Must be the adrenaline!"
Well right about here, it got COLD. Serves us right for getting married in January. But I still can't feel my toes.
I got way lucky and married into a great family!
If I thought I was cold before, it was about to get ridiculous.
So, yeah, I'm going to post a lot of these very similar pictures because I almost froze to death on the day of my wedding, and I can't let those pictures go to waste.
Deal with it!
Oh, and we kiss a lot.
Deal with that too.
Oh, here's a cute story. Right about the time I lost all sensation in my feet, the photographer asked if I'd be willing to go out onto the grass (which was conveniently covered in at least one foot of snow) in my flats, so we could get some more pictures. I hadn't been able to use any of my bridezilla power at that point, so I said no. Even when Caleb offered to give me a piggy back out there. (Something a person should never try in a wedding dress, I fear.)
So, imagine us in a beautiful snowy field with the temple in the background.
In one of the weddings I did, I caught a really cute picture of them laughing. Kiss laughing. You know? And I wanted one, so I was trying to explain it, but do you know what kiss laughing is unless you've seen it? Luckily, she got it. And now you know, too.
Can we also just take a moment here to admire my hair?
The name's Fonnesbeck.
And then we ran to the car, seriously discussed stopping for hot chocolate before we realized I was in a white dress, (and I have a nasty habit of spilling on myself at unfortunate times.) then headed to the church for the ring ceremony!
Oh, here's a lesson for you: don't ever think you can set up something like this alone. Caleb and I thought it would be fun to go set up the night before by ourselves...bad idea! We were there until midnight and didn't even finish all that we wanted to do. So accept help, for pete's sake! But I still think it turned out pretty cute. :)
We looked EVERYWHERE for old cameras like this, and they were always so expensive! Then one night we were sitting in my basement, and we looked over and noticed these two just sitting on a shelf!
These pictures are from before the reception started and, yes, Caleb put that money in there himself. He figured it would make people think other people were doing it, so why not?
Seriously mom, you could not have done better with the color matching. We can barely see you there!
And then the party began!
Not gonna lie, it's pretty cool looking over and seeing all these gifts piling up. Opening them was like the ultimate Christmas.
One of my favorites- we printed up little cards (also designed by Caleb!) for guests to fill out. It was fun a few weeks after the wedding to go through and read them all, and I'm sure they'll always be a great memory to have!
And, it made for a nice guest book!
Shaking hands & hugs. Our view of the entire night!
I even got a surprise phone call from one of my oldest best friends who is in Oregon & couldn't make it!
My dad was so embarrassed!
And it didn't help that they were really showin us up!
On another side note, I spent forever making this slide show of pictures of me with my dad- you would have all been in tears, but then I never had time to get it onto a disc!
Right when we were planning on doing our first dance, Caleb surprised me (this is my "what are you doing???" face) and he and two of his best friends played & sang me our song. It was awesome!
And then we danced. :)
While his friends and brothers, of course, did this.
And I finally got some pictures with my Bridesmaids!
And my family!
Jax, the look on his face, and that tie seem like the perfect ending. :)
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